mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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