How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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