the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
