I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
