We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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