trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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