I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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