we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
