New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
