I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
