i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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