Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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