I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
