Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
