like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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