OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
two words: eviction party
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
