Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
