im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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