Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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