ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
