C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
