Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he thought i was a dude.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
