On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
