I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
vagina is talking i cant
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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