Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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