sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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