So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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