dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
