Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
