Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
