some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
