Define "chronic" masturbator.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
