She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
