Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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