Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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