I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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