I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
