But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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