Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
