next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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