So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
