I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
