GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
