You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
