i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
