I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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