we have officially lost it.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
