ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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