Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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