Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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