I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
