Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
