I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
