still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
