You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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