I think my vagina is haunted
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
