dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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